It’s everywhere – even when we’re not looking. My young sons and I were standing in the checkout line, and there it was, again forced upon us through the headline of one of those strategically placed magazines. A famous actor was boasting about his alleged all-night (and humanly impossible) romp with a woman. If you have young children, there is one thing you need to: learn how to talk with your children about sex. And, you need to talk with them about sex – often. If you don’t, others will. Don’t kid yourself: your children are either already thinking and talking about sex – or they would love to – with you.
“Be encouraged. Talking about sex with your children, like sex itself, gets better with time.”
It’s ironic, don’t you think? Our children are here because of a decision we made, yet we are unwilling or embarrassed to tell them how they got here. And, you most likely either enjoy sex or wish you did. If you love your child, don’t you want them to enjoy sex in it’s God-honoring context when the time comes for them to take the plunge? Don’t you wish someone did that for you? Stop kidding yourself. Most of us didn’t have parents who taught us the good news about sex – yet we wish we did. You can be the parent or guardian you wish you had.
Be encouraged. Talking about sex with your children, like sex itself, gets better with time. The truth is, you are more afraid to talk to your children about sex than they are. The more you do, in healthy, God-honoring ways, the more healthy a view they will have about sex and all of life. Unhealthy views about sex and self are the root of multiple problems in and throughout life. By instilling a biblical view about sex into your children, you lay the groundwork for a biblical lifestyle that enjoys God and everything He has given us.
Your children need to learn about sex from you. They need to know that sex and emotional intimacy are intertwined. Don’t you wish someone had explained this to you? Boom. You just became your own case study. Why not spare your children from the confusion and awkwardness you went through, love them, and help them avoid the problems you faced? After all, this is one of the primary roles of a parent.
“If you shun this responsibility, you will unintentionally force your children to learn about sex in places and ways that can distort the truth – and ruin their understanding of one of the greatest gifts God has given humanity.”
Part of what it means to disciple your child is to help them succeed by learning from your failures and successes. Disciple your children.Teach them about sex. Let them know youare their “go to” person for not only the facts but also the purpose and context of guilt-free, steamy, satisfying, God-given, emotionally fulfilling sex. When you do, you will also help them realize that life, contrary to what the world has us thinking, isn’t all about sex. How you handle or ignore the issue of sex will stick with them every day of their lives. It will shape the rest of their lives.
“I learned about sex through my friend, Harry, as we sat on hay bales in the hay loft of our big red barn at the end of a long, hot summer. It was a talk I would have loved to have with my father . . . And I could have, if only he hadn’t believed the lies that sex was dirty, difficult to discuss, and unimportant to the rest of life.”
Even when our children hear about sex from other sources, they need to know they can come to you as their expert – the person who will put sex in its God-honoring, fulfilling context. If you shun this responsibility, you will unintentionally force your children to learn about sex in places and ways that can distort the truth – and ruin their understanding of one of the greatest gifts God has given humanity.
This is what happened to me. I learned about sex through my friend, Harry, as we sat on hay bales in the hay loft of our big red barn at the end of a long, hot summer. It was a talk I would have loved to have with my father. And I could have, if only he hadn’t believed the lies that sex was dirty, difficult to discuss, and unimportant to the rest of life. The truth is, Dad knew more about sex and life than me – so that made him qualified to lead the discussion. The same is true for you and your children.
There isn’t much that’s private about sex any more. If you don’t talk with your children, someone else will. In fact, they already are. The question is whether or not what they are hearing is from God’s perspective, the world’s perspective or the devil’s perspective. This is why you need to be the “go to” person for your children when it comes to the most intimate, formative and life-influencing topic on earth. Sex is not a dirty word.
Does the thought of talking to your child about sex scare you? Don’t let it. You can learn how to talk to your child about sex – and, you can enjoy it. I’ll be sharing some suggestions here, in my blog, so stay tuned. And, there are many great resources available, too. Ask God to guide you, and He will.